"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
Yes. I'm reading 1984. First of all, what a weird world. Second, how does it seem believable somehow? Clever man, that Orwell.
Of course there are many things to say about this book including:
"Hurrah for freedom of the press!"
"If there really are spies reading my mail, why do they want to know who needs to swap shifts with me?"
"How nice it is to have things for no reason."
But what I will actually say is that Telescreens are a bit creepy and make me realise that when the lift doors close and I start pulling weird faces at the polished metal walls, there is probably a security guard laughing at me somewhere.
Because I do weird things like that a lot. At work, when the lights go down and the show begins, I do foot exercises or copy the dancing but only with my head. When I cycle I speak out loud in other accents. Sometimes I stop in the street suddenly and for no clear reason and walk back the way I came.
If Big Brother was watching me he'd probably think me highly suspicious.
I think though that probably everyone does secret crazy things when they think no one is watching. Weird is normal. So it stands to reason that there's probably thousands of hours of CCTV footage of us all doing stupid stuff. What is the point of that? To keep security people entertained? Or as ammunition to keep us humble when we have our 15 minutes of fame?
In the book, the next step is thought-control. But you'll never be able to read my thoughts, will you? Actually, there are people working on it. Watch this.
Of course it's hardly telepathy at the moment. But it's the same as hidden cameras observing me skip down an empty corridor. By looking into someone else's mind, you're just going to find they are as bizarre and inexplicable as you. And then what?
There is no telepathy in 1984 (so far) just an assumption they know what you're thinking, and an attempt to twist your thoughts to their means. Scarier. And even scarier that it has happened, and does happen. And it works...every time a bus passes, I want to immediately book a holiday to wherever is advertised. Egypt most recently, even though I suspect there are reasons they are having a slow tourist season and need all the advertising they can get. It does look golden though. And I would be like a pale Cleopatra, meditating in the breeze from the Nile....
Where was I? Oh yes, not talking about what I started talking about. Classic.
But in conclusion, as there are cameras everywhere, and nothing useful could possibly come of the footage of me, perhaps whichever minor spy is watching my empty-room-dance-improvisations could put me together a showreel. And throw in some of the comedy if you like. It would be much appreciated and clearly you have nothing better to do.
Thanks Big Brother.
