Halloween

“Listen to them - children of the night. What music they make.” -Bram Stoker, Dracula 

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" - Edgar Allan Poe

Today I (my mother) bought a bucket of Halloween sweets. These, as I'm sure you are all aware, are to give to small children in superman or cat outfits for their creative dressing up skills. And to give to older children who don't bother dressing up but carry boxes of eggs and toilet rolls. Blackmail payment.
Frankly, I would prefer to park the cars not next to the house, close the curtains, turn off all the lights, pretend we're out and eat the sweets myself.
I never really got Halloween. I was never allowed to go trick or treating so I find it a bit weird that you can go knock on a stranger's door and demand sweets or money or I'll shoot you with this water pistol that is a cunning part of my cowboy outfit.
Bugger off you little sh*t. Cowboys are nothing to do with Halloween.
If in doubt, here are some costumes that I will accept:
Ugly witch, complete with warty nose;
Fully bandaged mummy giving off powerful reek of formaldehyde;
Woland;
Some kind of pagan god of harvest;
George W Bush;
Something that fits this description:

“Hateful day when I received life!' I exclaimed in agony. 'Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him; but I am solitary and abhorred." - Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

or something SUPER cute like this:

Now that is a good costume. Not particularly scary/at all, but look at the effort! And for a day that kid is just a child in a costume instead of a child in a wheelchair. He does have a whole truck of ice cream though...he probably doesn't need my Haribo.