Goodbye travel, for now.

And so we arrive at the end of my first stint of travelling. I have of course learnt fluent Hindi, begun to save the world and "found myself."
Except that I've done none of those things.
My knowledge of Hindi extends to Nameste and Hatcha (if they are even spelled correctly) and the ever useful head wobble...Kirsty will confirm my mastery of this spontaneous and brilliant movement..."Did you just wobble your head at me?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Stop it!!"
The world is far to big and messy for me to save in 3 months. I need at least 4.
As for finding myself, I'm not aware of ever losing myself. I still don't know what I'm doing, now or at any future point..but what is it that the Sunscreen Song says? "Some of the most interesting people I ever knew didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives at 40." Everyone knows that is the voice of wisdom. If only I'd heeded the always wear sunscreen part. Maybe I wouldn't have a peely nose now.
So what did I get out of this?
Well, I saw some amazing places. Quick Top 3:
Annapurna Trail
Khajuraho Temples
Sunrise on the Varanasi Ganges
Did some great things:
Motorbikes around the hills of Shimla
Houseboat on the Kerelan Backwaters
Camel ride in the Rajastan desert
Some not so great moments/character building episodes:
Attempt kidnap in Khajuraho by diamond smugglers
Being stalked in Ooty by a man who freely admits it "I' ve been following you for an hour...I fell over three times."
Being stuck at Patna.
Acquired some great catchphrases (including movement):
Bam! (pelvic thrust with sunbathing arms...2 bams each side)
Big Dal Bhat
Hello sir, Jeff? Kristy?
Ice cream?.....you look as if you like ice cream.
Small fat baby
(phonetically) connetichek! (Dutch for super crazy)
.....am I boring you with in jokes?
And met some awesome people. No top 3 here..you all deserve to be named :D So thanks to Jure (you are always number 1!), TomTom, Jiga, Phil and Roy (our biker boys), Drew, Ismail and Faran, David, Amrit (a wonderful guide) and Krishna (a machine)... and last but not least, Holland, card games cheaters and tellers of riddles, Tjerk and Hicham.
Boys, you all made our trip!
But not as much as one person who I not only love but would tolerate for at least 97 years of happy marriage: my travel wife. I'm already planning our next venture so start saving. And expect me to invite myself over a lot..I can't sleep alone anymore.
So I had the best time basically. Can't believe I'm returning to real life. You know I not only haven't had to work for months, I haven't even had to lift a finger..how do I make tea again? I'm back on Thursday though so pop the kettle on, will you?

An apology

Hmmm...considering I want to be a writer I feel I'm being most ill-disciplined about this blog.
This has been brought to my attention by 2 sources in the last couple of days.
The first, my mum asked why I hadn't written a blog on the Taj Mahal?
The second, my first reading of a blog of a fellow traveller we met in Udaipur. Drew's blog (much more successfully than mine) is a daily and detailed journal of his adventures.
But I conceed defeat. A couple of blogs a week is enough for me (I'm busy don't you know/asleep very early), I hope it's enough for you reader?
So why didn't the Taj make the cut? Well, perhaps because it was so exquisitely beautiful that you must go yourself. I could never do justice to the moment it seems to grow in front of you, gleaming white, perfectly balanced, stunningly romantic.
The other reason I never wrote about it is that apart from its own glorious self, it brought the same themes I've covered before: constant requests for photos of us with a multitude of families and tour groups. As if we were an attraction worthy of competing against the Taj (Ha)!
So that is your only glimpse into our stay in Agra. So what else did I miss?
A Goan Christmas: lobster dinner, Midnight's Children on the beach, swimming in the Arabian sea. Seems a trifle smug doesn't it?
Camel safari or horse riding: yes fun to go on but I would be afraid to bore you with descriptions of rolling hill or desert sunsets. I'll simply tell you I'm having a wonderful time.
I don't want to tell you the minutae of my day to day life. Look at my pictures (well..Kirsty's pictures. Much better photographer) and you'll see it all.
In the meantime, please excuse my lack of discipline and shortage of posts. With only two weeks left in India I'd better get my eyes in focus and pen in hand for the last chances I'll get to share a little piece of this lovely, sometimes broken, but always epic country with you.

Touring with the Boys

So I last wrote trapped in a hotel by our fear of jewel smugglers. You'll be pleased to hear that we escaped pretty sharpish, travelling 1000km north to Shimla where some friends of ours we arriving that day on their motorbike tour of the country.

Dear Phil and Roy! Considering this was a quite unexpected destination for us, it has proved to be a bit of a highlight. There' s nothing like a bike to get you off the tourist trail and seeing real life here. If I wasn't so spacial- awareness challenged I'd get my CBT. 

But for the last couple of days we have been "biker chicks." We got matching silly helmets and have been whizzing through the mountains behind the self- titled "Gay boys on tour." All the fun and none of the work...I was gazing at the stunning scenery and thinking about (of all things) The Flintstones, while Roy had to look out for potholes. Ha! But a BIG thank you to them both for looking after we damsels in distress so well. We love you :)

And the men got me wondering, at the end of our trip, will Kirsty and I be as much of an old married couple as Roy and Phil? Or are we now?

As I write my travel wife is also diary- ing. We have companionable writing time every evening. This morning we spontaneously had a dance around, sit- ups and (pathetic) push up (attempt) session. The other day on the freezing sleeper bus we had survival spoon.

When we meet people we tell them we are married...We have quite highly developed storylines by now....but are we actually married to each other? Probably.

Anyway, our bikers are going to do a tour of Thailand next year...wife? Are you busy?

Some 'To Do' Lists

This time next week I will be in India (she jumps about a little in excitement) and while I'm there I have no commitments beyond my flights. I barely even have a list of things I want to see beyond a fairly vague and probably useless: Everything.
However, at the moment, my head is full of To-Do lists. Here is a small sample:

Pre-India List

1. Finalise the 'short list' of clothes I want to take (it currently consists of approximately twice the amount I could fit in the bag/lift of the ground for longer than 2.5 minutes);
2. Find a way of hiding the rest of my belongings so they don't mysteriously find their way into my sister's possession by the time of my return;
3. Make a Christmas present for the fam;
4. Accustom myself to both vegetarian food and spice whilst...
5. Making the most of my last opportunity to eat the following: bacon, gravy, Yorkshire pudding, black pudding, uncooked vegetables, tap water, juice...

Post-India List

1. See number 5. from above;
2. Learn about grammar. And spelling. Develop a keeneyefordetail;
3. Either embrace the modern world and learn how to use computers, phones...calculator...Twitter...or journey to a happier time before these things. Suggest: rich lady in the '20s a la Downton Abbey.
4. Make something beautiful (this always appears on my to-do lists in the hope that I discover some hidden talent for craft);
5. Perfect (read: make first attempt at) the art of making Fondant Fancies.

Next 3 Holidays List (because you've got to have something to look forward to)

1. A month (or so) in Italy in manner of Julia Roberts (Eat, Pray, Love) to learn to speak Italian properly, rather than the random selection of almost entirely unrelated words that I currently have possession of;
2. Berlin because I imagine it to be a positive Mecca of modern art and dance...and they make excellent hot dogs in Germany;
3. Tokyo via Trans-Siberian Express. I love a good train journey.

List of Objects on my Computer Desk

1. Phone
2. Pink and yellow Post-It notes with indecipherable list of numbers on it
3. Tape measure
4. Someone's tissue (eww)
5. A curly piece of plastic