I'm procrastinating.
Almost an hour ago I sat down to do some work and instead I've made myself a cup of tea, caught up with My Dad Wrote a Porno, wandered around the house in an aimless fashion and now I find myself blogging. It's amazing what you catch up on when you are avoiding filling out application forms.
I'm sure you all know the feeling. I'm sick of my own address. I'm even more sick of my (lack of) qualifications and employment history. It's hard work spinning dancing, giving people food and standing around in case a building burns down into an array of employable attributes. But I'm persevering and one day I'll be rewarded. I will. Yes.
Of course the application form is only the first step. There are cover letters to be written: a fresh one for each of the many jobs I really want and am absolutely perfect for. I want no one but you, I swear!
And getting through that bit brings us to the real trauma of interview time. How is it that they always ask you questions that you don't know the answer to? Maybe more appropriately, how is it that I find I don't know the answer to such basic questions as "why do you want this job?"
"....because it will pay enough for me to go on holiday?..." BUZZZZ. Incorrect. Try again.
"....because...erm...I'm really calm under pressure so...what was the question again?"
"...so I read the advert on Arts Jobs and yes...um."
And seconds before the phone rang or I walked into this peculiar meeting I knew exactly why I wanted that job. It was because it sounded like something that I would enjoy and be challenged by and I would like myself for doing it. And despite the advert saying I need a degree, a thousand years of experience and ambitions to save the world, I believe I could do the job well. Just as well as anyone else. It is simply unfortunate that my biggest weakness (because we all know about that classic question) is a complete inability to sell myself.
But it's something I'm working on. (Apparently that's the key, you know: self-knowledge followed by self-improvement. A handy hint for the future from me to you.)
To prove I am working on this difficult self-promotion, here are some strengths for your reading pleasure.
But wait! People Google people now don't they? It's a strange new world and perhaps I shouldn't write about my job hunt whilst job hunting. Or is this an opportunity? If you are reading this potential employer I should at least say:
I love you! Pick me, pick me!!
Almost an hour ago I sat down to do some work and instead I've made myself a cup of tea, caught up with My Dad Wrote a Porno, wandered around the house in an aimless fashion and now I find myself blogging. It's amazing what you catch up on when you are avoiding filling out application forms.
I'm sure you all know the feeling. I'm sick of my own address. I'm even more sick of my (lack of) qualifications and employment history. It's hard work spinning dancing, giving people food and standing around in case a building burns down into an array of employable attributes. But I'm persevering and one day I'll be rewarded. I will. Yes.
Of course the application form is only the first step. There are cover letters to be written: a fresh one for each of the many jobs I really want and am absolutely perfect for. I want no one but you, I swear!
And getting through that bit brings us to the real trauma of interview time. How is it that they always ask you questions that you don't know the answer to? Maybe more appropriately, how is it that I find I don't know the answer to such basic questions as "why do you want this job?"
"....because it will pay enough for me to go on holiday?..." BUZZZZ. Incorrect. Try again.
"....because...erm...I'm really calm under pressure so...what was the question again?"
"...so I read the advert on Arts Jobs and yes...um."
And seconds before the phone rang or I walked into this peculiar meeting I knew exactly why I wanted that job. It was because it sounded like something that I would enjoy and be challenged by and I would like myself for doing it. And despite the advert saying I need a degree, a thousand years of experience and ambitions to save the world, I believe I could do the job well. Just as well as anyone else. It is simply unfortunate that my biggest weakness (because we all know about that classic question) is a complete inability to sell myself.
But it's something I'm working on. (Apparently that's the key, you know: self-knowledge followed by self-improvement. A handy hint for the future from me to you.)
To prove I am working on this difficult self-promotion, here are some strengths for your reading pleasure.
- I don't give up. I sat here for a surprisingly long time thinking of these strengths. I did not go and make myself another tea, and I did not delete the challenge I just imposed on myself.
- Sometimes I write silly poems or draw funny pictures or make fairy cakes which I will share with you. That is not bribery.
- I am unafraid to eat the last Jaffa Cake. None of this "you have it, no, you have it." I will be very decisive and bold. I may not always know what I want but I always want Jaffa Cakes.
- Despite my lack of proof on the matter I am actually a bit clever/not unintelligent/a smart cookie (pick whichever makes me sound modest yet confident- I struggled). I regularly get more than five answers correct on University Challenge. Sometimes I beat the contestants. Boom!
- This morning I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. If that doesn't take great strength I don't know what does. My five year plan involves leaving altogether. Don't let anyone tell you I don't have ambitions.
Obviously the list could go on and on but I don't want to seem vain. No one likes a bighead.
But wait! People Google people now don't they? It's a strange new world and perhaps I shouldn't write about my job hunt whilst job hunting. Or is this an opportunity? If you are reading this potential employer I should at least say:
I love you! Pick me, pick me!!
