This is 2015

My first blog of the year. In February. Clearly one of my Resolutions was not "Write blog better and more frequently."
In fact they are only two:

1. Pass driving test. As an update I tried again and failed again. This time I was robbed. If only that examiner had held his nerve for a millisecond I'd be able to check this one off by now. As it is...third time lucky?
2. Tell people how I feel. Good/bad/whatever. Avoid being "fine." Say no when I don't want to do something. Share. In real life, not just via blog. 

Yes only two, but two difficult ones. I have been attempting the second my entire life. Of course, when I say 'attempting' what I really mean is saying I intend to be like that and remaining a wuss. Is that how you spell wuss? Looks weird.

But 2015 is cracking so far. I actually got an email on New Years Day saying I'd won the lottery. £25. Winning! 

But it's not all about winning the lottery (although fingers crossed- I got driving lessons to pay for). In fact it pales into insignificance besides the other stuff that's coming. Here's a five best of for the year (in no particular order). I was going to do 10 but I don't want to make you jealous or nuffink:

1. A month in USA- New York, San Francisco, Vegas (Baby!) and a three week trek though bear infested mountains, carrying the weight in food and gear of a 10 year old child on my back. Outdoor sleeping, cold lake swimming, space and trail dancing.
2. Wilbur. You know who you are kid!
3. Bridesmaid duty for a beautiful and beautifully silly couple.
4. More time for things I like. Choosing when to work and when to play, and when work can feel like play.
5. Being able to drive. Because, damn it, it's going to happen next time. 

This seems to be a blog of short lists. What other list should I write? Things I learnt last year. GO!

1. Always chain the wheels of Isadora to the frame when I leave her.
2. Don't leave Willie Nelson alone with either socks, toilet paper or important documents.
3. Drink Barocca.
4. Have a fully stocked biscuit tin.
5. I don't like strangers. I especially don't like dating strangers. Strange strange strange.
6. Don't turn left at a roundabout if you aren't in the left lane. People don't like it.
7. If in doubt, quote The Jabberwocky at people, it confuses them.

OK, I made up number 7. I wanted seven things because it's my favourite number. But, I mean, try it anyway. I bet it's good advice.

Bicycle Wheels

As some of you might know, I have a bike and her name is Isadora. It's always a comfort when cycling to know she's on my side. As though we have joint responsibility for our lives. 

Yesterday Isadora was cruelly murdered in the street. Both wheels taken. If she is not quite dead she is certainly now maimed and broken and cannot run free. 

There is nothing sadder looking than a bike like this.

Here I would like to add: thieves are so....mean! That's my bike you've just ruined. What have I done to you ever?! And not just my bike, but Isadora: a living, feeling (inanimate) object. She a person! 

But then again..she isn't at all. It's an it, not a she, and I've certainly made myself feel worse by personifying her. 

I have a tendency to do this but I just like the magic a name brings to things. Names are power. I know this from books. They told me so. 

But if you give something a name, are you increasing the risk of heartbreak (and mental instability) when things go wrong? 

Take Isadora. Now I'm faced with a choice: buy new wheels, or buy new bike? In the January sales, what is cheaper? And can I really betray Isadora by replacing her? She carried me in a child seat when I was a baby. How could I just throw her away? 

But the point of having a bike is to save money, and won't I save money in the long run by buying a better bike and not having to fix it up all the time? Isadora is so old anyway.

And then I feel heartless. What a conundrum. 

Because I not so materialistic I don't think, but I do become emotionally attached to some of my belongings. Don't we all. But in the end, is that good for me? If I just thought of it all as "stuff" would that make me less sad when it gets ruined or lost? 

Actually no. I can help it. Stuff is rubbish. I'd much rather have Isadora than a bike. 

But the question remains: save her or move on? 

On a happy aside, I want to tell you about the man who cheered me up yesterday without know what he did. I was of course in a bad mood all morning. Then on my break a man appeared and handed out teddy bears to me and four other girls, and a kitkat to the guys. They came out of nowhere and he just disappeared around the corner on the way out. 

Apparently he often gives out presents just because, but has just really upped his game with Teddys. It's just a pity he wasn't giving out bike wheels but never mind.

There are some great people around aren't there?! So thank you Rob from armoury. I'm naming the bear after you. 

Stuff about me.

We have been acquainted for a long time now. I have no idea who you are of course but I've been sharing my life, thoughts and probably sometimes shaky opinions with you for over a year by now. Time flies, eh? 

But here are some things you might not know yet. (Do not expect my bank details and address to appear here.)

A couple of days ago I managed to lock myself in the building next door to the shop where I work and didn't really know how I got there. It was like a very disappointing Narnia.

I lost the key to my locker, broke my bike and forgot my Oyster card in the same day.

Apart from the bike, things I own that are broken include my iPod, my laptop, the Internet of my PC, and almost all of the bags I own. And some of my shoes. 

Yesterday, 4 months ago I was in a hot spring in the Himalayas. 

Yesterday I moved all my bedroom furniture, cleaned the oven, did 3 loads of laundry, took out the recycling, watched a programme about why the descendants of slaves are better athletes, played the ukulele and wrote my name, date of birth and confirmed that I am eligible to work in the UK on 3 application forms. I did not complete the small essay questions that seems to be on them all. That seemed to much like hard work after inhaling oven cleaner fumes.

I have 5 spanners of various sizes in a row on my bedside table.

There are at least 6 books in my head that I think about writing but can't quite decide which one or how to go about it. 

I'm learning to write with my left hand because I once learned about a sailor who had to after his right hand was blown off with a canon ball. I want to be prepared. 

Tomorrow will be the first day I'm not working in 36 days. I'm excited.

Sometimes when talking to customers, I realise I'm not actually talking but making gestures and funny faces that convey my meaning perfectly. I suspect I'm talking to them directly mind to mind and now I have noticed this gift it will vanish forever like the elves from The Elves and the Shoemaker. 

Sometimes I change my handwriting on purpose, just for a little variety. I'm currently experimenting with a new style of A. 

I'm sleepy now.