On Reflection

In a small journey of self-discovery, this week I have spent some time on reflective practice. All good for personal growth I’m told – or, at least I was told when being made to write a reflective journal during my dance teacher training. I was unconvinced at the time but on reflection it does at least pass quiet time at work in a positive and productive manner.

 

This move was spurred in part by frustration that I’m in the wrong job and need to think about how to change it; but also due to my rejection from the communication team. Well – I say rejection, but actually I was told that it was full and I should email them with my skills so I could be involved on an ad-hoc basis. What do the full members have that I don’t eh? Perhaps a forthcomingness in regard to their skillset.

 

My initial reaction of course, was that I have no useful skills, or at least none that are provable.  I could have given a link to the blog (what’s that except evidence of my communication skills) but as my most recent post included some not very positive thoughts on my job I decided that may not go down so well. Wise decision, do you think?

 

So what are my skills then?

 

That was the first thing. Skills brainstorm. Then an online personality quiz that informed me I was ‘Yellow’ (creative performer). Then a funny task where I had to pick my favourite words out of a list: gradually narrowing them down to find my core values. These ended up as compassion, courage, learning, creativity and freedom. All very pleasing words I’m sure you’ll agree.

 

But of course this is all useless if I don’t use it. It all really just furthers my assurance that I would have rather enjoyed the extra-curricular communication of the communications team (exactly what they do is unsure); but that my role doesn’t really fit with either my yellowness or my chosen words.

 

I’m aware that this is a) highly unscientific and b) obvious without the reflection. I do have a small plan though. I think I’m going to do a writing course. Perhaps I’ll improve these ramblings somewhat. At the very least it will be a tick in the learning box.

 

So maybe this reflection business is useful after all.

This is 2015

My first blog of the year. In February. Clearly one of my Resolutions was not "Write blog better and more frequently."
In fact they are only two:

1. Pass driving test. As an update I tried again and failed again. This time I was robbed. If only that examiner had held his nerve for a millisecond I'd be able to check this one off by now. As it is...third time lucky?
2. Tell people how I feel. Good/bad/whatever. Avoid being "fine." Say no when I don't want to do something. Share. In real life, not just via blog. 

Yes only two, but two difficult ones. I have been attempting the second my entire life. Of course, when I say 'attempting' what I really mean is saying I intend to be like that and remaining a wuss. Is that how you spell wuss? Looks weird.

But 2015 is cracking so far. I actually got an email on New Years Day saying I'd won the lottery. £25. Winning! 

But it's not all about winning the lottery (although fingers crossed- I got driving lessons to pay for). In fact it pales into insignificance besides the other stuff that's coming. Here's a five best of for the year (in no particular order). I was going to do 10 but I don't want to make you jealous or nuffink:

1. A month in USA- New York, San Francisco, Vegas (Baby!) and a three week trek though bear infested mountains, carrying the weight in food and gear of a 10 year old child on my back. Outdoor sleeping, cold lake swimming, space and trail dancing.
2. Wilbur. You know who you are kid!
3. Bridesmaid duty for a beautiful and beautifully silly couple.
4. More time for things I like. Choosing when to work and when to play, and when work can feel like play.
5. Being able to drive. Because, damn it, it's going to happen next time. 

This seems to be a blog of short lists. What other list should I write? Things I learnt last year. GO!

1. Always chain the wheels of Isadora to the frame when I leave her.
2. Don't leave Willie Nelson alone with either socks, toilet paper or important documents.
3. Drink Barocca.
4. Have a fully stocked biscuit tin.
5. I don't like strangers. I especially don't like dating strangers. Strange strange strange.
6. Don't turn left at a roundabout if you aren't in the left lane. People don't like it.
7. If in doubt, quote The Jabberwocky at people, it confuses them.

OK, I made up number 7. I wanted seven things because it's my favourite number. But, I mean, try it anyway. I bet it's good advice.

Stuff about me.

We have been acquainted for a long time now. I have no idea who you are of course but I've been sharing my life, thoughts and probably sometimes shaky opinions with you for over a year by now. Time flies, eh? 

But here are some things you might not know yet. (Do not expect my bank details and address to appear here.)

A couple of days ago I managed to lock myself in the building next door to the shop where I work and didn't really know how I got there. It was like a very disappointing Narnia.

I lost the key to my locker, broke my bike and forgot my Oyster card in the same day.

Apart from the bike, things I own that are broken include my iPod, my laptop, the Internet of my PC, and almost all of the bags I own. And some of my shoes. 

Yesterday, 4 months ago I was in a hot spring in the Himalayas. 

Yesterday I moved all my bedroom furniture, cleaned the oven, did 3 loads of laundry, took out the recycling, watched a programme about why the descendants of slaves are better athletes, played the ukulele and wrote my name, date of birth and confirmed that I am eligible to work in the UK on 3 application forms. I did not complete the small essay questions that seems to be on them all. That seemed to much like hard work after inhaling oven cleaner fumes.

I have 5 spanners of various sizes in a row on my bedside table.

There are at least 6 books in my head that I think about writing but can't quite decide which one or how to go about it. 

I'm learning to write with my left hand because I once learned about a sailor who had to after his right hand was blown off with a canon ball. I want to be prepared. 

Tomorrow will be the first day I'm not working in 36 days. I'm excited.

Sometimes when talking to customers, I realise I'm not actually talking but making gestures and funny faces that convey my meaning perfectly. I suspect I'm talking to them directly mind to mind and now I have noticed this gift it will vanish forever like the elves from The Elves and the Shoemaker. 

Sometimes I change my handwriting on purpose, just for a little variety. I'm currently experimenting with a new style of A. 

I'm sleepy now.